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How to create a great first impression
By Steve Smith
How can I create a great first impression? The basic key to creating a great first impression is creating the perception of being charismatic. Studies show that those defined as "being charismatic" made the best first impressions. As the old TV adverts use to tell us "You only get one chance to make a first impression". This creates a really significant challenge for us all as humans have a very limited ability to process information. Now when you consider the number of senses that we have (some people argue over this I know) and then break down their component parts, its overwhelming! Humans have too many sensory tools at their disposal and not enough processing power. Unfortunately, education and business doesn't help. A large emphasis is placed on detail and accuracy on individual tasks. In English tests, we are assessed on whether or not our spellings correct. Have we got the correct number decimal places or significant figures in maths? And then we are put into careers where we must produce reports, following 'rules' and norms but there are few people who both multi-task and work at a detailed level simultaneously. All of this is really to much for us humans :- "you can only focus on one task at a time" (unless you are a woman of course!) So how does this relate to creating a great first and impression and being viewed as charismatic? Well, to begin with, just RELAX and take it easy by not expecting to much. Look at how we HAVE to judge people when we meet them. They are introduced and begin speaking to us, using words, verbal nods, eye contact or not, facial gestures, body language changes, etc. And we're trying to assess them at the same time and respond to what they are saying. Are they smiling? If not, why not? Is it me you think? They are looking over my shoulder, aren't they? Are they paying attention to my response? Do I have something on my jacket? They keep waving their arms a lot. Personal interactions are extremely stressful to us by nature. How much can anyone really take in? Our minds think “I just have to obtain some information” to form an impression. And this is where we can all make hasty mistakes. So keep everything in context. Firstly, we don't know very much at all about most people we will meet i.e. how that person is feeling today, their background, who they spoke with before, their values, etc – we know nothing really about them. Did they have an argument with a partner, colleague, relative or friend this morning? We just don't know. We take in what we can, which is extremely limited, and then process that information as our 'impression'. Trust your instincts but do not be too fast to judge. "So how can I be more charismatic to others you ask?" Get all the basics right and do your best. Given the stress people are under in any communicative action, don't expect too much of yourself. Smile, be positive and make good eye contact. Show an interest in the other person. If they like to talk about themselves, really indulge them. Ask further questions on areas they clearly enjoy talking about. I typically find men love to talk about their sporting exploits, hobbies, and kids. They also love to talk about work. Ask them about the "best bits of [insert topic above]". If you can, relate to these areas. Find out what it is about the sports they practice that they enjoy. Is it the adrenaline, the relaxation, the peace and quiet? What is the motivator behind their pursuits? Then think about areas in your own life where you enjoy those same sensations. Shared experiences can really help a make a great impression. Finally, if you can inspire people in your interactions, that is true charisma. So if someone says "I'm a keen hiker and I've always dreamed of walking in [x], but I will never get the chance", tell them of the dream you had which you fulfilled, but never thought you would. Encourage them to go for it! First impressions are a numbers game. Practice by meeting as many people as you can and utilize the guidance above. Don't have unrealistic expectations as people feel under pressure when meeting people for the first occasion. In time you will be viewed as a truly charismatic individual. |
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Lasting impressions are forged when we first meet someone, they are burned into our memory, a lasting image of a moment in time, each time we think of them or recall events involving that person, we associate them with that image, an impression. That first impression will always stay with us, never changing and unable to waver, when we think of that person, however as time goes by the impression becomes out of date with the person, and their forever changing personality, a dynamic personality that ceases to change only when they die. The fundamental flaw in this instant character assessment is the concept that each time we meet that person. We have already judged them by the first impression. This leads to an undermining of any potential friendship, by installing a false sense of distrust from the outset
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